Monday, April 9, 2012

Day 18- giggles and teardrops

Overall, I'd have to say today was CRAPTASTIC.  It was my first day back to work, which I was not ready for, but I had to go back.  Woke up at 630, took a pain pill, then went back to bed until 730, which was the plan.  Shower, dress, hair, makeup, and packing lunch all proved to be exhausting at 0730.  Got to work to find my boss was there (actually my boss's boss), so I had to put my game face on .  Talking had my face in knots by 0900.  At 1200 I slopped my soup into my sore mouth as gracefully as possible, then went for a walk with my boss.  That sounded like a great idea when he suggested it, but proved to be quite taxing from the cold-induced pain.  I don't know him well, we are both new.  But he seems like a genuinely nice guy and it was so nice to have a non-surgery related adult conversation.  I came back from our walk, tried to get back to work, then the pain hit me.  And then came the tears.  Luckily, nobody saw.  I quickly composed myself, took a Vicodin AND 3 Ibuprofen and got back to work.  The rest of the day was a cycle of laughing or smiling with/at someone and then immediately cringing in pain.  Wow does it hurt to laugh! 
When I got home I went straight for the cozy clothes and plopped my butt down on the couch.  I skipped dinner, no energy to even deal with it, took more pain meds, had a bowl of ice cream, now I'm off to bed. I'm pretty sure tomorrow will feel like groundhog day.  And I'm completely sure that I'm being a whiny asshole.  I'm okay with that.

This concludes tonight's self-pity party.  Tomorrow I will look for my dignity.

8 comments:

  1. I think you are entitled to complain! I know going back to work later wasn't possible and I admire you for making it work. You are one tough cookie. I hope tomorrow is better for you...take care

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  2. I agree with bracedmom... You are a tough cookie and DEFINITELY entitled to complaining. It is lousy that you have to go back to work so quickly - though I'm glad you didn't go back last week and that you still have your job. I hope all the exercise of your jaw will actually help in healing...

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  3. Nichole, you are a woman of amazing strength and courage. Being back to work and managing "mommy hood" in the midst of healing is quite an endeavor. PLEASE vent as much as you need to. You deserve to be able to express yourself to people who will truly understand. Wishing you brighter days ahead...

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  4. Thanks ladies, you guys are the best! I'm trying really hard to stay positive. I think it may be getting the best of me though. I'm having some issues with my surgery and recovery and I feel like no one will listen to me. The wall smacked me in the face last night I think.

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  5. Hey Nichole, Was just thinking about you and wondering how the rest of your week is going. Hope each day is better than the last.

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    1. Hi Amanda, not very well I'm afraid. Trying to keep my negativity to myself. I'll share some once I've had a chance to process. No need for mindless ranting and bad juju.

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  6. Hi! Found your blog through the jaw surgery site and thought I'd comment. I had my surgery two weeks ago (just one jaw but still ouch!) and I'm so happy to read your posts. This freakin' hurt! Forget the whole "I never needed pain meds because I was numb" stuff I read about, it sounds like mine was more like yours. Today was my first day back at the office and my day went about like yours did :-). Feels better hearing I'm not the only one! Btw you look fantastic now, promise! Thanks for posting.

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    1. Hi Tracy. Glad you found my blog helpful. Commiseration is what we jaw bloggers do best :)
      Hope you are feeling better soon. It took me a very long time, but most people seem to recouperate much faster than I did.
      Best wishes!

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