Day 8

Sorry for being a Debbie Downer yesterday.  I woke up this morning, sans self-pity, and made today a good day.  I even skipped some pain meds and managed to be okay.  The only down sides to today were a mild nose bleed for most of the day off and on, and my munchkin is sick.  I think I'm having problems with some mild bleeding because my sinuses were cleaned out during my surgery.  The OS told my Mom that my sinuses were packed full of polyps and cysts.  He said he'd never seen anything like that before and he didn't know how I was putting up with it.  No wonder I had so many headaches and facial pain.  I just figured it was all linked to my jaw pain and would pop a handful of Motrin (most days) and carry on. I was planning on going home this weekend.  But with my daughter sick with a head cold and fever, I'm really afraid to catch it.  Normally, I could care less if I get sick, especially when in comes to taking care of my family,  But with surgery last week, starting work this coming Thursday, and not being allowed to blow my nose yet, I'm not sure I can handle being sick.  So, I'll probably stay at Mom's a couple more days unless Keir can't handle Mara any longer.  She can be difficult when she's sick, as all kids are I'm sure.

So, I managed to dry my hair and put on some make up today.  I didn't really have any of my things with me like hair products or most of my make up.  I never thought I'd feel well enough to get ready, so I left most things at home.  But, with what I had , I made an attempt to look human.  MAN, it's hard to dry my hair without bending over or leaning sideways!!!  Keir and I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up a gift for my Mom as a thank you for putting up with my whiney butt all week.  We took a walk up around the strip mall since it was nice out today and I'm pretty sure I got some "aww you poor thing" looks from at least a few people.  Later when my Mom and I went to the grocery store, I seemed to get the most funny looks when I was speaking.  I guess I DO sound a bit goofy.  Oh well, C'est la vie!   I was glad to be out and about.

Today's culinary adventures included egg salad and blended beef barley vegetable soup.  Yum to both.

Side note,  I still look like Dr. Seusse when I smile.  It's okay, you can laugh, you know I do!

Day 7

Today was a bit of a bust.  I tried last night to wean down my pain meds.  I really don't like taking them.  So, before bed, I just took 600 mg Ibuprofen.  I slept all night but woke up quite miserable and never really felt good all day, even though I took the pain meds when I woke up.  The sutures in my cheeks are pulling and pinching a lot today, maybe because I skipped some pain medicine or maybe  because I'm getting some feeling back.  I didn't really feel like eating today and as much as I tried, I only really got down half of what I have been.

So, not a bad day, just not a fantastic day but there's always tomorrow.  I plan on getting out of the house tomorrow even if its just to the grocery store. 

I'll take pics tomorrow after I put on my big girl panties and buck up. 

Day 6

Today I feel human.  I managed to shave my legs with my shower, (not bending over is getting kind of old) and went for a walk with my husband in a cute little town down the road.  The weather was beautiful and the sunshine felt so good.  I'm told that I'm talking very well now and I'm getting better at drinking from a cup without dribbling. (always a bonus)  I did some dishes, much to my mother's dismay and enjoyed a lovely bowl of pureed chicken and rice soup.  I know that sounds gross, but I pureed a can of Campbell's chicken and rice soup and it was soooo yummy.  I know, I know....high in sodium.  Sue me.  I was hungry and it tasted good.  I know a lot of people swear by organic, low sodium, no dairy, blah blah blah.    It's not practical for me.  I love dairy and although I eat lots of fresh fruits and veggies, yada yada, I'm also a typical American who sometimes eats processed crap because it tastes good and things from a can because it's easy.  Also, I think most people mistakenly blame the dairy for being binding, when in fact it is the narcotics we are taking for pain.  For this issue I have two words, COLACE and PRUNE JUICE (okay that was 3 words).  And start before surgery....nuff said.

My bite is still off but I'm trying to be patient that it will settle when the joint swelling  decreases.  I really can't close my teeth well, it hurts too badly.  The only true pain I have is in my joints, right is much worse.  Everything else is mostly weird, uncomfortable pressure.  I have a lot of numbness of course, but I have been able to feel my bottom lip and chin the whole time.  This made the OS very happy.  He said only 5% of people have feeling there post operatively and it means I shouldn't have much permanent nerve damage.  I'm fairly numb from my lower eye lids to and including my top lip and my cheeks to about the outside edge of my eyes.  That whole section of my midface is quite numb but tingles more every day.  I'm told that almost always comes back entirely.

So, today was a good day.  I'm still in pain, but functional.  And although the tingling and crawling all over my face is annoying, I know its a great sign that my nerves are healing.  And even though I look like Dr. Seusse when I smile, I'm greatful to be able to smile at all.  Tomorrow, I think my goal is to put on some make up and do my hair, then I'll really feel like me again.

Side note:  I just took a break from typing and we made homemade strawberry milkshakes.   OMG,,,so good!  I've never had a homemade milkshake before.  And I DO NOT feel guilty because it was another serving of fresh fruit for today  :)

Until tomorrow
Smile, it looks good on you.

Day 5

Day 5 I didn't do much.  I called my OS to ask a few questions and slept A LOT.  Sorry so boring, but, the most exciting part of my day was mashed sweet potatoes and pureed cauliflower. 

Day 4

Pics from last night.  I was too tired to post them yesterday.  I was in a lot of pain.  I think I over did it.  The OS told me to try for a walk by Monday, so I got showered and dressed, attempted and failed at eating pastina, and drove with my Mom up the hill to Nanna's house to go for a walk.  I only managed 20 min because the cold wind was really hurting my face.  We visited with Nanna for a few min then I waited in the car while Mom picked up a few things at the grocery store.  I did a lot of talking to my Mom and her friend who came to visit and didn't really sleep but for a few minutes yesterday afternoon.  All in all, way to much for day 4 for sure!

Day 3

My husband brought my daughter over for a bit today.  It was nice to see her, but she looked so confused.  She couldn't really understand me, and she looked at me really funny, but, she didn't cry.  I'm glad I got to see her.

 I graduated to a spoon today.  It was hard and messy, but it felt so much better to eat my runny mashed potatoes with a spoon.  Meds still go down better with a syringe though.  Today I ate yogurt, broccoli soup, pureed fruit, 2 glasses of milk with protein powder, runny mashed potatoes and mashed carrots.  It all hurt like hell, but I'm trying to keep up with my food so I heal well.  My days are consumed with meds, meals, brushing and rinsing, napping then starting it all over.  I expect the next few days will be a lot of the same. 

Some pics from today

My daughter sent me her birthday hat from Chuck E Cheeze to make me feel better.

Day 2

not feeling so hot day 2 for sure, but I'm trying

Day 1

Here's a pic of the morning I left the hospital...about 28 hours post op


And here are two pics from that evening of day 1

Day 0

few hours post op

I'm alive!

I'm a hot mess but I'm trying to be greatful.  I'm alive, awake and functional (sort of).  Not still stuck in a hospital and on the road to better days.  Have pics but I totally don't have the energy to post them. Can hardly stay awake to type this.

Surgery went well I'm told.  6 hours as exptected.  I started to have a lot of swelling on the table, so I'm swollen much more than normal.  But the OS says everyone reacts differently and my tissues are just really sensitive.  Unfortunately I also have a lot of swelling in my joint, so my jaw is kind of out of place and very painful.  it feels dislocated and the surgeon says it should goback into place once the swelling goes down.  for now, lots of steriods, lots of ice, and as much pain medication as I'm allowed.  Hoping it all works out cuz this kinda sucks right now.  Every muscle in my body from my waist up hurts and my face is KILLING me.  Hopefully the swelling goes down soon so I can swallow better.  right now I have to swallow with my head back, just using my tounge because my jaw won't close.  good times!!

Still working on greatful.

T minus 1

one more day

My nerves have taken over.  I'm spontaneously bursting into tears more than once per day now and I seem to be constantly fighting the urge to throw up.  No fun at all, but probably normal.

Info from the surgeon

Okay, my surgeons gave me the low down on Tuesday.

My procedure papers say:

1.  Reconstruction midface, segmental (3 pc.) LeFort I osteotomy with bone graft
2.  Reconstruction mandibular rami ; bilateral sagittal split osteotomies

Translation: pain, misery and more pain.

I'm on the books for first surgery of the day, hopefully it will stay that way.  One night stay in the hospital if everything goes as planned.  I will have a splint for 6 weeks ( yay : / )  But the best news is...drum roll please...soft food diet from the start!  No syringe feedings for me.  Woohoo!!!!

Life is hectic right now, but I think it has been good for me to keep my mind occupied.  I started a new job in December.  I have to return after two weeks because I will loose my job if I don't.  The company I work for will only give me two weeks off as a new employee, after that, they let me go.  Just their policy, nothing can be done about it.  So keep you fingers crossed that I can rally for work at two weeks post-op.  I really need this job.

My Mom had kidney surgery about 3 weeks ago.  Then had a second one a week later.  I think it was hard on her, but she is doing well now and that is a huge weight off my mind.

My brother, his wife, their 18 month old daughter, and their two dogs have been stayin with me since Feb 9th.  He is in the Army and has been in Germany for 8 years.  They are moving to Kentucky to his new post in less than a week but they stayed with us for a month to visit. It has been so nice to have them here.  Mara and I will miss them all so much when they leave.

My husband and I are back together.  We had separated, filed for divorce and he moved out almost a year ago.  But around Christmas time we decided to not go through with the divorce.  It has been so wonderful to have my family back together and I'm hopeful for the future.  He hasn't moved back in yet, but shortly after my surgery he will.  It seems everything is falling into place.  

So, Jason and his family are here for a few more days, then it's time to get my act together and make my preparations for surgery.  I hope to keep as busy as possible until then and maybe squeeze in a few good meals, a date night, and a special day for Mara over the next 19 days.  Poor pumpkin has pneumonia right now and has been so sick.

That's my crazy life right now.  So, to all you teenagers who wonder how you will manage to get through surgery and recovery, just think of me and how rediculously crazy it would be if you waited until you were old like me, and do it now if you're able. 

Hope you all are well.
Hugs,
Nichole